When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
Siren's Song
Thursday, November 13, 2003
mood: peaceful
music: August - Yanni
Everything's looking good. According to Dr Lockhart, the historical/archaeological documentation project that I'm working on might have already been taken up by the History Society. Not to worry though, everything's still in place. Even though I hate to think that Ed (different Ed) might have confused himself a bit, it's still not a problem. Building a nature trail at the same site doesn't sound half bad, does it? I'm alright with anything, really. Just as long as I get to go out-field to do something solid, and not let my butt sprout roots into my throne, I'm happy. *smiles*
Recce's from Dec 1 to Dec 5. Vietnam-bound. I'm trying to suppress a glee that resulted from the mere anticipation of the DFS shopping spree when I finally come back to Singapore. *wide grin* Rice wine, anyone? Or Vodka, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean etc? Place your orders man. I think I might still have allowance to buy duty-free beer.
Until the next time I see Ed, everything will have to remain at a standstill. Shall try to focus on my studies instead. Did I say try? Oh yea... t-r-y.
I'm tired. Mentally, physically. I feel my muscles aching all over; fibres in my brain do feel as though they're being torn apart. *beeeezeeeeark* An attempt to take a stroll in the realms of dreamland failed utterly. The zzz-monster impiously refused to acknowledge my weakly waving white flag - it totally siammed me and completely ignored my submission to defeat. My eyes remain WIDE opened, yet my mind is positively shut off from the world, deviously playing a trick on its own mistress. Maybe my mind's sick of it's boss - me. Maybe because of this it decided to go AWOL. A self-declared vacation. Maybe.
I tossed and turned, got outta bed, plopped down again, then began another futile cycle of tossing and turning and getting off and on the bed again. I tried to read a bit, but the lecture notes content's too thick. It chokes me. Completely strangles, throttles, suffocates, quackles, smothers, stifles me. I can't breathe. I'm denied the peaceful rest I yearn for. Perhaps I have become guilty from my supposed loss of focus, and defiled myself with tardiness, indolence and unproductivity. Perhaps I've failed myself as a student. Perhaps.
Have I caught the exam fever? Or would it be better if i asked, "Have I caught the exam fever too late?
What the heck. I'm feeling helpless now, like a pesky fly without wings. A pesky fly without wings is still pesky, isn't it? (Hm.. slightly detached and inappropriate analogy, but the idea just buzzed into my head outta the blue.) But somehow I dun think the inadequacy rose from my lao-yar fly alter ego. Something else is eating me inside. Chew chew chomp chomp bite bite. Yum.
Everything's looking good, right?
Or maybe the problem lies in that everything appears too nice and fluffy and rose-tinted. Maybe. Tonnes of maybes.
I'm still tired. My eyes, especially. Still I can't get myself to attend to my obligations.
